One of our members recently told me that he would have more time to practice and attend the playdates because he was retiring. ”Darn,” I said. ”I guess we won’t be seeing much of you.”
“No, no,” he said. ”I just said that I was retiring!”
“Congratulations. But soon you will be staying up too late watching TV, getting up at 11 am, wearing all of your old clothes that are too worn to wear out in public, taking a nap each afternoon and trying to fix everything around your house, instead of paying a technician. You won’t have any time to practice anymore.”
“No, you don’t get it,” he said. ”I don’t like working around my house! I want to get really good on the fiddle, maybe enter some contests . . . ”
“Well, that’s too bad,” I said. ”I was hoping that you were going to work into your seventies, just so that we could have you come by and play every now and then, just to get a break from your workweek.”
“You sound like my boss. I told him that I was going to devote myself to playing the fiddle at the retirement homes, and he told me that he wouldn’t tell the Security Department about my retirement, so that I can use the same password when I come back in a month.”
“He sounds like a smart guy. I hope you send him a Christmas card every year, just to spite him. But soon you’ll decide that you want to become an artist, or grow dahlias, or raise chickens, or get a pilot’s license before you get too old.”
“That’s ridiculous, I don’t even like barbequed chicken.”
“Well, anyway; we enjoyed seeing you around from time to time. Maybe you will still donate to our Scholarship Fund each year.”
“No, I can’t do that, I have grandkids that I want to send to Moses Lake each year.”
“Oh – well, terrific! If you have grandkids, they may try to come by a little more often, but pretty soon, they’ll figure out that you’re really boring and start making excuses to stay home. Yeah, this might work out, that’s terrific, you’re retiring!”
“You know, you’re just a bummer to talk to. I probably ought to work a few more years, the extra money may help to keep the grandkids close.”
“That’s a good thought. You should work as long as you are able to remember your password.” – Kyle
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